Toeing the Line

Ultra runners are masters of the extreme, pushing themselves to the very edge of their limits and sometimes even beyond. In it there is great satisfaction in accomplishing something that may not have even seemed possible. Emotions bubble to the surface and there is a great sense of pride and fulfillment. But this comes with a price. To achieve your best requires sacrifice: sacrifice of sleep, lazy Saturday mornings, social obligations, family ties, a healthy sex life, and most of all, a sacrifice of one's toenails.

For years, my husband has made fun of my "nasty" feet. But I think he has found one area of ultra-running where he clearly takes the prize in our family. You see, in early September, Mac ran the McKenzie River Trail Run 50k, finishing 39th out of 171 runners, which Mac will proudly tell you is the top quartile of all finishers. And it once again places him in his age group...for women, since the RD of MRTR initially sexed Mac as a female again this year. (His real name is Mackenzie, so you can hardly blame the RD. I mean, it is a girl's name! Forest Park 50k had the same problem. I keep telling Mac to embrace it; it would help his Ultrasignup score a lot!).

Anyway, Mac had a good day on the trail and felt good all day, but there was a price: a big blister under the left toenail. He drained it and went on with life. Until this week, when the thing became a nasty, festering mess and his foot became some Fred-Flintstone-with-elephantiasis swollen mess.

Mac's nasty toe. Compare the size to his other foot.

Sunday he was limping around, complaining about how bad it hurt. "Worse than when I broke my arm," he told me. 

I told him to stay away from me, and yeah, he should probably get some antibiotics.

After two days of antibiotics, the thing was still a big throbbing mess and fluid was actually draining through the skin. Our friend Gloria, the fastest (marathon runner) surgeon in Salem, came to the rescue! (Dr. Nair - if that hurts, you better run faster in Victoria!). She met Mac outside of the Kaiser offices, gave him a prescription for Vicodin, and told Mac to meet her at her house all drugged up at 5:30 pm.

Well because of patient labels, Gloria is not used to writing names on prescriptions, so Mac showed up at Walgreen's with a prescription that didn't have his name on it. The pharmacist was skeptical (because a guy in sweats who is not at work in the middle of the day is obviously a drug addict). So Mac put his toe on the counter to convince her he was not faking. To her credit, she did not vomit. "Well, where were you seen?"

And get this. Mr. Clueless answers, "In the parking lot," before realizing this does not help his case of being mistaken for a drug seeker. But a phone call to Gloria, and Mac got his drugs.

Later that evening, I met Mac at Gloria's. We banished all the kids from the kitchen and turned their dining surface into the operating table. I got to play nurse in the operation. Gloria asked me if I knew how to open items in sterile fashion. Just like a surgeon to think the pathologist is incapable of even the most basic floor skills! Geez, I mean we aren't total losers; we get out of our lab cave every once in a while! (And when we get back, we talk about how scary it was!). Plus, I was like,"Umm, hello? The toe is already infected. How sterile do we need to be? Just save yourself!" But I didn't say that.

Gloria numbed Mac up, ripped out the nail, and all was good. Or so you would think. Just as Mac is getting bandaged up he starts sweating like it is mile 90 of Badwater and his face has the same shade of green as after his first ultra. He throws open the door, puts his head back and is fighting to stay with it. Gloria gets him a cold towel for his head and I get him some water. Gloria is a concerned a caring doctor to her patient. And me? Well, there is a reason I am in pathology - I was laughing at him! Don't get me wrong, I was the concerned wife while the procedure was going on, but this was after it was over! It wasn't the pain, it was a vasovagal response, and yes, I am a terrible person, but I didn't have much sympathy. But this isn't the first time I've seen Mac deal with this: About ten years ago, Mac fainted in periodontist office after a gum graft - only I was the one who had had the procedure, not him. The man is kind, and loving, and a great dad, but let's face it, he's a bit of a wimp.

Still feeling good

Getting numb!

Now that's pretty!

"Be strong, Honey, you can do it!"

Kidding aside (who was kidding?), Gloria was a super-friend, because how many people do you know that would touch that nasty toe? I gave her some new shoes as a barter; she twisted her ankle on the first run in them (they weren't La Sportivas!), so she clearly got a bum deal! Mac says he is feeling much better (but the toe still looks nasty). Let's hope it heals fast because Mac has a race scheduled in ten days.

Thank you, Gloria! You rock!

Little Bunny Foo Foo...

Western States terminated with one of my worst results ever, but perhaps because of that my desire to go back was very strong.  But I didn’t plan to dedicate my entire racing season trying to get back in. Run Rabbit Run fit well with my schedule and it is an early qualifier, so if I got a spot, I wouldn’t have to worry about qualifying for the rest of the year.

The only problem: by July, the 50 mile race was already full. The 100 was still open and offered WS spots, but with the large prize purse, I expected it to be very competitive, and therefore less likely to get the coveted WS ticket. So I e-mailed Fred, The RD, to ask if there were any special considerations for entry for competitive athletes. He responded, “Well, send me your resume and we’ll see.” The next morning I got another e-mail from him, “Are you the Pam Smith on the 100k team? If so, you’re in!”

While many other race directors have been nice to me, this is only the second time that I have asked to get in to a full or otherwise closed race, the other time being Miwok 2011. I am thinking I am going to have to do this more, as I won both of those races. I guess I feel like I have something to prove for being granted the opportunity.

So yes, while I did win, it was NOT an easy race! Joelle Vaught had the course record at an astounding 8:08 and no other woman had broken 9 hours (2^nd all time F= 9:04). Based on the course and my fitness, I thought I could do 8:20. I finished 6^th overall in 8:40,  39 minutes slower than any other 50 miler I have done.  But I didn’t actually miss my goal time by as bad as it looks at face value. This year to accommodate the 100 mile runners, the 50 mile course was lengthened by 1+ miles with 600’ of gain and loss over very rocky and technical terrain, which added at least ten minutes and probably more like 12(+). Speaking to Fred after the race, I heard people disliked this so much that he is already thinking he will change it back next year!

I started the race at the back of the lead pack in third for the women, telling myself not to pass 2^nd place F Silke Koester the whole way up Mt. Werner to make sure I stayed in control at the start. I continued to tail her for several miles over the back side. For a few minutes I contemplated playing a strategic game to guarantee the WS spot.  I knew I was faster, so I wondered about tailing her for a long time and then just passing her in the end to get second and the WS spot. But around mile 11, a guy named Ken jumps out of the bushes behind us, says we are looking good and that Kerrie (Bruxvoort) is less than 5 minutes ahead. Oh, and by the way, could he please pass?

Well, I just found a new train to ride! Yes, I wanted the Western States spot, but I also wanted to race!  So I passed with Ken and told him to take me up to Kerrie. “You’re going to have to do that yourself, I’ve got post-Leadville legs.” But I stayed with him and got to chat for a few miles about Leadville and his training with Anita Ortiz. When we hit a flat gravel road, I didn’t think I picked up the pace, but soon I was dropping him. Same thing through the next 8 miles of rolling grassy trails and roads. I tried to find people to run behind but whenever things leveled out, I’d end up in front. I ended up passing about 6 guys through here and when I rolled into Dumont AS for the first time (22.3 miles), I practically ran into Kerrie as I was on my way in and she was on her way out.

About a half mile down the road, I caught Kerrie and said hi. She gave a lackluster response. I kept moving as the terrain to the Rabbit Ears rock formation and turnaround got steeper and steeper. I counted 8 guys coming down by the time I got to the top. The two volunteers at the top cheered for me and said, “As the first female, I think you are required to kiss the volunteers!” I told him if it means I get to go downhill, then you got it. So with a quick peck on the cheek for both volunteers (how’s that for showing my thanks!), I rounded the cairn and finally got to head back down the 2.7 mile hot road back to Dumont AS.

Rabbit Ears- Mile 25 turnaround was right at the base.

Kerrie hadn’t looked very good when I passed her, so I was surprised to see she was only a couple minutes back at the turnaround. But I made good time back through the rollers. A couple of times, I looked back across the plains and couldn’t see anyone, so I knew I had at least a half mile on Kerrie.

Everything seemed to be going well until getting to Long Lake at mile 37. From there it is uphill back to the top of Mt. Werner. It is not very steep, only 1,200 feet of gain in 6.8 miles, but it was as if my body were screaming, “Whoa, wait a minute! I put up with all this running for 37 miles but if you aren’t going to give me any oxygen, I quit!”

I was huffing and puffing, but it wasn’t asthma at all this time, just fatigue and the cumulative lack of oxygen. Every little ascent felt monumental and I walked WAY too much. I told myself if I got to the top in the lead, NO WAY was I going to lose. One thing I still had confidence in was my leg speed and I knew I’d be good on the gravel road downhill.

I did get to the top in the lead, but OMG! There was Kerrie on the way up not more than a minute after I left the AS! Holy Crap – time to fly! After the rocky section at the top, I averaged right around 7 minute pace for the final 6 miles. Pretty slow, given that it was all downhill, but after 45 miles, I certainly felt like I was flying! The best part was zooming by all the quad-weary 100 milers, who were all very positive when I passed.

I looked back on a couple of long switchbacks and no one was there. I just needed to pass the time and get to the finish. And that’s when "99 Bottles of Beer" popped into my head. Are you kidding me?? But pass the time it did, and by the end of the song, 26 minutes had gone by. Ok, hold it together, just two miles to the finish. The ground flattened a bit, running took more effort, but I didn’t let up and managed to put a few more minutes on Kerrie before finishing.  My 8:40 was the second fastest women’s time on the course, Kerrie’s 8:47 ranked 3^rd over all and Silke stayed very steady for a 9:09 and 5^th fastest course time – all with the harder course and a hot day. The men’s winner, Cameron Clayton, wasn’t hampered by the heat or course changes either, throwing down a blistering 7:09, to break Geoff Roes course record!

My prize for winning the 50 mile. The winner of the 100 mile got $10,000. Yeah, that seems equitable!

I was proud to race hard and take the win, but it was definitely one of those races where you are completely spent at the end. I had a little sunburn, plenty of chaffing (from my pack and putting ice in my bra), enough dehydration to warrant 82 ounces of fluid in the 90 minutes following the race (including 36 oz of chocolate milk….mmm), some post race GI “distress” and even a little blood in my urine (don’t worry, it cleared fast). And my mom thinks ultra-running probably isn’t good for you – ha! All that just to double my pain and suffering at Western States!

A big shout out goes to all the 100 milers- this is a super tough venue and many are speculating that the course was closer to 110 miles. This course decimated the field, with only 15 of 52 elite finishers! So kudos to all those who attempted the run and bigger kudos to those who finished. As always, thanks to the volunteers. And huge thanks to Fred Abramowitz. This was a massive undertaking, essentially staging three separate ultras over the course of the same weekend. While there were glitches with runners getting off course, this guy truly has his heart in the right place and the runner's interests as his top priority. By the time the award ceremony came around he was already working on a list of improvements. I think RRR has the potential to become THE big fall ultra. I wouldn't let this year's mishaps dissuade you if you are considering running. Just beware, you need to be one tough bunny to tackle this one!

Weekend Adventures

When last we left off, I was going to murder my husband and move into a Unibomber style cabin in the woods to curb my post-event depression. Or something like that.

Fortunately, my funk didn't last long and my hubby is still alive and kicking (...himself for marrying a running addict??). I only had to make it through three (tedious) days at work before I was off for another adventure. This time it was Hood to Coast, a 199 mile (this year 201 - more later) 12 person relay. Our team was the Salty Sistas. Despite our gangsta spelling of the team name, the only thing keeping us from being the pastiest group of white girls you will ever find is our token Asian! But then I was pretty much the only one on the team that seemed to find this amusing. Fortunately, there was plenty else for amusement.

Van 1-Ready to Rock

Sistas in the Hood...Mt. Hood

 Due to re-organization this year, we got a pretty early start time at 1:30 on Friday. The good news was that we had LOTs of slow teams around us to keep us motivated. I passed 102 (to my best count) people on my three legs alone (and was passed once by a guy who completely decimated me while I was doing 6:20's). The bad news is that we really had no idea where we were in comparison to our competition, so really all we could do was go out and run.

I had leg 5/17/29. My first leg was 6.1 miles with a 2.5 mile uphill finish. Total weenie of a hill, especially after being in the Rockies for a week, but it was in the heat of the day and I could feel the leg fatigue. I totally died and was about a minute slower than projected (40:41). And then right as I finished with my legs feeling fried, we learned there was a tire fire at Les Schwab and 1.7 miles was being added to the course, all in leg 17, bringing the distance to 8.82 miles, a whopper by Hood to Coast Standards. But it was super flat (until the detour at least) and the night temps were very pleasant, so I was able to get some good leg turnover and I felt much better (except for when Mr. Speed Demon went past) for a 56:35 (6:25). My last leg was a 650' gain over 3.6 miles followed by 2.5 down. My projected time had me at 6:40 pace, but I was more like 7:10 on the up. I didn't think it was looking good. But the downhill was the perfect spin your wheels and let it rip grade, plus I was anxious to be done, so I hit two sub 5:30 miles and came in under pace! Yeah, that was fun! But I was so glad to be done. It is a fun event, but there was A LOT of traffic at the second van exchange and we only got in with about an hour to spare which didn't allow much time for sleeping. The three legs of running are hard, but the most draining part of this event is the lack of sleep and lack of decent food!

Finished!
Lisa, Nikol, Evey, Jenni,Kari, Debbie,me, Denise,Mariko, Judy, Terra and Tonya

Time to be silly!

After Tonya finished the final leg for our van we headed to the beach. Soon after checking in to the hotels, showering and getting some food, we found out Run With Paula, our closest competition in the women's sub-masters category, had finished in 24:18 and our last runner had set off to do 5 miles at 23:22. In the bag! However, Minnesota's Babba Yaga threw down with a 22 hour finish, leaving us in second for sub-master's and third fastest women's team time overall.

The following week I was toast! TransRockies followed by Hood to Coast five days later was pretty much the limits of what I can handle. Fortunately, I got to race vicariously through Megan, my seven year old daughter. (Warning: proud Mom bragging ahead). Megan has been participating in the Thursday night Bush Park cross country series every week in August, steadily lowering her mile time to 8:52, but unable to podium except on the 99 degree night with few competitors. The last Thursday in August is trophy night with lots of extra people out and so I had already given Megan the "We run for fun not prizes" speech, when she tells me she'd like to run the 3k instead of the mile. Unlike the mile, with 2 year age groups and ribbons five deep, the 3k only has one kids age group (12 and under) and rewards for the top 3. But Megan rocked it, finishing in 17:55, for second place and a silver medal. I asked her if she walked at all. She proudly shook her head no. "Not even on the two hills?," I asked her. "Well, I was tempted," she admitted. Yes, I am just loving that she got better as the distance got longer!

 

Then Labor Day weekend we set off for a family adventure: our first ever Smith family back-packing trip! We tackled the uber distance of 2.4 miles to Pamelia Lake on Saturday after first stopping in Detroit Lake for lunch and ice cream. The kids carried all of their own clothes and "loveys" in my emptied out bladder packs. Meanwhile, Mac and I appeared to be carrying enough gear for a two month trip! But heavy gear isn't really an issue for a short distance at a kid's pace.

Ready to go at the trailhead. 2.4 miles to camp!

Nine minutes in, Liam asked how many more minutes till we get there. Ten minutes in he fell on his face. But we told him he got tripped by a trail troll and then he happily ran down the trail from there on out, shooting trail trolls and launching pine cone dynamite into the woods. Plus, we had a secret motivational tool:

Megan "needed" Rusty, but she carried him without
complaint and had the comfiest pillow for the night!

Some "fun guys!"

Is that another trail troll awaiting hikers?

Liam bravely gets wet

We stopped a lot on the way out. Liam liked to touch the fungus. ("Liam, do you know what fungus is?" "Stuff that makes you itchy.") Megan liked to take pictures with her camera -thank goodness for digital! We pointed out how the baby trees like to grow on the fallen and dead trees to get extra nutrients ("And the baby trees can get lots of fiber, too!" pointed out Liam). We needed Mike and Ikes and Lemon Heads twice. But we made it with almost no whining. 

Pamelia Lake

 We spent the afternoon playing in the mud and throwing rocks in the lake and Mac even got in a run (I did mine before we left so I was free to lounge on the beach!)

Six hours of dirt!

The only bad part was that Megan got quite cold at night and woke up several times. but wouldn't you know it, that stubborn wiggly front tooth finally popped out at 3 am!

Guess what Megan wants for Christmas?? 

 Sunday morning we had oatmeal by the fire and then we were ready to head out. One hour and three minutes later we were back at the trail head!! Our first family camping trip was such a success, it was Bolt-worthy!

Doing the Bolt (or possibly the monster mash ;)

The weekend running adventures continue as Mac gets this weekend off parenting duties to run the MacKenzie River 50k and the following weekend I am returning to Colorado for the Run Rabbit Run.
Yes, I guess I can manage to endure my work week as long as we get to have great weekend adventures!

Unhinged At TransRockies

This morning the passenger side door was ajar when I went to leave for work. I feared the battery would be dead, but my trusty Avalon automatically shuts off the lights so that was not an issue. However, when I went to shut the door, it just rebounded with a dull thud. As an ultra-runner it is my nature to bang my head against the wall repeatedly before giving up, and so I tried three more times. Each time the door failed to latch and instead just flopped around after hitting the frame. Further inspection showed that the latch mechanism had gotten turned around and prying did not seem to help. Of course, this was the morning Mac hired a sitter and was off to run, leaving me without a back-up car or a studly husband to come to my rescue.

So I duct taped the door shut and headed off to work. This was just great till I made a right turn and the centripetal force was too much for my meager tape job and the door flung open. As if this isn't bad enough, a few cars around me decide to honk at me. Anyone with three brain cells would notice this problem and does not need to have people honk to point this out. Then again, anyone with three brain cells probably wouldn't be driving a car with a defective door to work.

In the three days since returning from TransRockies I feel a bit like my car. I am operational, but I just don't seem to be fitting together right. I feel as out of place as a car on the road with its "wings" spread wide. Physically, I am fine. In fact, I can't believe how well I held up through the 120 miles at extreme altitude. Mentally, I am a wreck. TRR was such a phenomenal experience, that honestly, I am disappointed to be home and I really feel like I am suffering from some post-event depression. A tiger born in captivity doesn't know what it is missing. But if you take it out to the jungle for a week, it won't be satisfied going back to its home in the zoo. Back at work Tuesday morning, my tiny office felt like a cage.

You know how the tiger paces back and forth in its cage? Well, my mind has been pacing back and forth at work. I am very good at my job, but that is not always such a good thing as it means much of the challenge is gone. By Wednesday, I concocted a plan to reduce my work hours, significantly cut our expenses, and being able to LIVE more. Mac, full of reason and sanity, shot the whole thing to pieces immediately. I fantasized about him falling off a cliff so I could get the life insurance and execute my plan. (That's a joke!).

TransRockies was truly as amazing as everyone said it would be. I am so grateful to La Sportiva for the opportunity. Jenny Capel and I were a great team. We are so similar and we worked well together. We have the same running strengths, the same competitive drive, the same desire to be a little wild, but only if we are still following the rules! Certainly, running as a team has it's challenges, but I think I did a good job of accepting that we would run this thing together. And Jenny did a good job of not punching me for saying "low and slow" or "find the grinder gear" one too many times!

Ooh la LA SPORTIVA! - We only got to wear our LS jerseys once. After Day 1 we were always in pink (or rose as we dubbed it for anti-pink Jenny)

On Day 1, Jenny struggled to adjust to the altitude, but we still finished just three minutes off Nikki Kimball and Tracy Garneau's time from the year before and we established a big lead. We were both solid on day 2, not pushing too much, and by the end of the day, we knew something would have to go really wrong for us to lose. After that, we stepped off the gas a little bit. We stopped for lots of photos, we can-can'ed on the high mountain passes, we posed with gorillas, and I ate chocolate at every aid station. And on the last day we ran in thrift store "finery" and cut up leader jerseys (which we both separately got approved from the race directors- haha!). By the end of the week, we finished 2 hours and 21 minutes ahead of fellow La Sportiva runner Nicola Gildersleeve and her partner Shauna Connaughton, the runners-up in the women's division.

Happy to be on the trails!

Learning our style: Jenny did better in the lead. I was happy just to follow

Day 2- Hope Pass @12,600 feet

Post run Goretex gear testing

Monkeying around on Day 4. Three miles left till margaritas!

The up side of climbing: great views!

The top! Day 5

Ooh la la! Embracing the pink and ready to run on Day 6

Victory!

After arriving to work, a colleague pointed out that you have to lift the handle in order to pry the latch back into place. And with that one little maneuver, the door was back to normal. I, too, know that I will pop back to normal in no time. And instead of lifting the handle, I have other secret tricks for righting myself: more running diversions! This weekend I will be compounding my fatigue and sleep deprivations with the Salty Sistas at Hood to Coast and then in three weeks I will be headed back to Colorado for another run in the Rockies! Hopefully, those will placate me enough to keep me from pacing a hole in my office "cage."

I highly recommend the TransRockies Run. The organization was flawless, the scenery was beautiful and the high mountain passes were, well, breathtaking. Just be prepared for a little let down when it is time to return to reality.

Getting Some "Zip" Back

Not the best Western States this year, but certainly an awesome week. We hung out at my parents' with my sister and her two kids (ages 5 and 3) till Wednesday. It was a lot of cousin chaos, but it was well managed by my family so I could mostly veg, at least the first day or two.

Wednesday we headed to Out and About Treesort in Takilma, OR for two nights in a treehouse. Just call us the Smith Family Robinson!

This is our treehouse, complete with rope swing. The little house in the back is the kid's quarters. On the left there is a fire pole to get down, but I am happy to say my quads were recovered enough that this was not a necessity.

 

We did some lazy swinging on Wednesday, but we got the adrenaline pumping on Thursday. The whole family did an awesome zip line course through the trees.

Feeling zippy!

Bombs away!

Then we took on the Tarzan swing. A golf cart hoists you up a 60 foot tree and when you let go there is a nice free fall before the rope catches you. I am not afraid of heights at all, but the sensation of falling - well, I screamed like a little girl!

"Tarzan the monkey man, swinging by a rubber band"

Megan proved to be the dare devil of the family. She never grabbed the rope on either of her swings and she jumped in the snow melt pool when all the other kids said it was too cold. I didn't even stick my toe in!

Gratuitous kid shots. Isn't my little monkey boy cute??

Friday Megan and I did a little horseback riding and then we ended the trip with some spelunking and hiking at Oregon Caves National Monument. The kids did more than two miles without complaining. It took us two and a half hours (the cave tour is very slow), but that is a lot more distance than I did in the two and a half hours at ALT!

Oh, yeah, I am looking good in my helmet!

Friday night when we got home my weight was 113 pounds. I am never below 115 (usually more like 117), even when I am trying to eat Spartan before races. I guess my "overweight" problem at ALT has resolved!

I didn't run a step all week, but I think we did "active recovery" pretty well! 

My Crazy-Ass Western States

Maybe some people weren't meant to run 100 miles. Maybe I am one of those people. This year's Western States certainly challenged the notions I have of myself as a 100 mile runner.

Western States is known not only for being a rugged 100 mile course through the mountains, but also for its grueling heat. This year, however, temps were 30-40 degrees below normal. Most of the runners parlayed the cool temps into fast finish times, with record numbers of finishers, silver buckle winners, and shattered men's and women's course records. But the cool temps were no help to me, and instead were the start of my undoing.

Though I knew it would be cool, the weather forecast did not include much precipitation. Race day morning saw thick grey clouds looming over the mountains, but seasoned vets were declaring that we'd be past all the bad weather once we summited the escarpment at mile 4. I did not have a rain jacket with me and thought the jacket I was wearing for morning pre-race warmth was much too thick to race in, so I set off with just some arm and calf sleeves.

Well, seasoned vets are not weathermen. Sprinkles started by mile 3 and by the time we summited there was a full on mountain storm. The next 30 miles were a mix of pelting rain, sleet, and hail.

A very foggy view from Escarpment (ph: Jeffrey Genova)

I first saw my awesome crew of Mac and Gaby at mile 24 (Duncan Canyon). I was 14 minutes behind Krissy Moehl's 2009 splits for 19:26 (which I was using as a rough guide) but I wasn't too discouraged.

As I was running up from the bottom of Duncan Canyon, about two miles out from the aid station, Meghan Arbogast, Tyler Stewart and a male runner were stopped on the trail. Off to the side, there was a very lifeless looking runner completely supine across some rocks. For a split second, I actually thought we'd have to start CPR on this person, who I initially only recognized by her number: "F2" - Kami Semick. But when I stopped, Kami was talking, just severely crippled by asthma. I quickly got out my inhaler and I think that helped a lot. She was soon able to sit up and even stand. The male runner agreed that he would walk/stay with Kami and that the rest of us should run on ahead to get help, especially since we were still "racing" for position.

Despite this very scary delay (Kami was taken to the hospital, but was doing well by Sunday), I actually made up a minute on the splits. However, I did notice I was really starting to feel the cold. In fact, my hands were hurting quite badly and I was quite chilled when they made me weigh in. Future RD Craig Thornley was there, and after a hug, I joked with him about bringing crappy Oregon weather to Western States. Then I said, "I'm volunteering for you next year instead of racing. This sucks!", perhaps creating my own prophesy. Later, two people told me I looked quite ashy, but they thought I was ok because I was still smiling and joking.

Soaked to the bone (photo Keith Blom)

Things went down hill rapidly after that. Normally, I love the section after Robinson Flat, but this year it was exposed pelting rain. Yes, I recognize the irony of an Oregonian not being able to deal with some rain, but it was too much for me. My hands were frozen and I could not open my water bottles, open gels or get salt. In fact, if I had not have had straps, I would not have been able to hold the bottles. I got into Miller's Defeat and I was so confused that Mac wasn't there (no crew at Miller's defeat, he was at the next one). I couldn't pick up food off the table, I was shivering and my teeth were chattering. Fortunately, they had a blazing fire, which they got me to quickly. My skin burned as it started to warm. They wanted me to stay even longer than I was there, but I wanted to get moving. Angel volunteer Shelly Lane gave me new dry sleeves and a beanie before sending me off.


At Dusty Corner's I was a mess. I hadn't eaten in almost two hours and I was still shivering uncontrollably. But my head was basically still in it. I was there for a long time. Mac went to the car to get me more stuff, Sean Meissner was there to help me out, and Cassie Scallon basically saved my life by giving me the jacket off her back. I knew I hadn't eaten in a while and was trying to put as much in me as I could, including a lot of warm broth.


I was fortunate to leave with Jenny Capel, and she was looking great. I ran a mile or so with her, but I couldn't keep up. I was bonking and my stomach was a bloated mess. I treated the bloat in my usual fashion: take two S-caps. It didn't really help. In an hour I took two more. To add insult to injury, my quads were already sore and we hadn't even descended into the main canyons yet. I couldn't keep up with Jenny, but it stopped raining, there were small patches of sun, and I was mostly warmed up. 


But things went south again on the climb to Devil's Thumb. Just like last year, asthma hit me hard. I could not climb. People passed me in herds as I was breathing laboriously but making little progress. Unlike last year, I did have my inhalers, but they didn't seem to help at all. And I think I was still very behind in my nutrition. By Michigan Bluff, I was almost two hours late and I knew there was no chance to be in the competitive mix, but maybe a silver buckle was still a possibility??


More slow chugging, lots of out of control breathing, light headedness, but I kept going, even commiserated with two others suffering asthma for the first time (and I also gave them my inhaler- that thing got around!). But after Cal 2 (mile 70), I was just too far gone to run. I sat at the aid station with another runner who had been planning to go sub-20 and was contemplating a drop. I gave him a long pep talk about why he needed to swallow his pride and finish and in doing so, I think I cemented my resolve, too. I knew how I felt. I also knew how awful my daughter's guilt trip was after I DNF'ed at AC. It wasn't my day, but I was getting to the finish (as did my new friend). I headed out with new resolve and more clothes from AS volunteers as I was once again shivering.


Since 24 hours was now out of the question, I figured I'd just walk it in and try to enjoy as much as I could. Not like I really had much choice; I didn't have the air or the energy to run. Most of the time I was still smiling. Except on the uphills...then I was cussing! :) The uphills just required so much more oxygen. I would pant, get dizzy, bend over hands on knees to catch my breath and then do it all again. But I had one of the most fun, most positive people I know with me in my pacer Gaby, and she was patient, supportive, and best of all, entertaining. And as I walked, I just kept taking a big swig and eating what I could every 20 minutes.

Mac took over from Gaby at the river and he kept me on the same eating/drinking schedule. When I got into ALT, my weight was up 6 pounds. The head medical advisor Lucas got very concerned. They got out a binder, consulted a chart, told me my weight was more then 7% up and that I could not go on until I peed. They sent me off to the bushes with a cup. My urine was dark, but still in the spectrum of yellow, not brown or red. But the couple ounces didn't change my weight at all. Lukas was very concerned about hyponatremia. He tried to make me drink 3 bullion cubes in 3 oz of water. It was awful; I couldn't do more than a couple sips. So he gave me two S-caps. He was sure the hypothermia coupled with 85 miles had overstressed my body and I was dealing with oversecretion of ADH. They wanted me to sit, get warm, destress, but mostly pee. I kept trying and would pass an ounce or so, but it didn't change my weight. After 90 minutes or so, I jubilantly passed a lot of "solid waste", thinking that'd be the ticket out, but since they were making me pee in a cup and my cup only had a measly ounce or so of urine they wouldn't even reweigh me. Lucas wanted "voluminous urine" before he'd feel comfortable. Around this same time they checked my pulse-ox. After 90 minutes of sitting it was only 90%. This didn't help my case (but it did explain why I could barely even walk up a hill; it surely would be much lower with heavy exertion).

The time ticked by. I helplessly watched tons of people as they came in and out. 3am is a very busy time for ALT. I briefly thought of sneaking out, but I knew the rules state that you must cooperate with medical personnel, and even if sneaking out didn't get me disqualified, I didn't want to have to explain what I did to others; I knew it wouldn't look good. Sadly, I never thought to fight. They had official binders, mathematical charts, authority. Certainly they knew what they were doing, right?

By 4:45, we had been there more than 2 hours. I started to panic about having enough time left to finish, especially after sitting around getting stiff and cold for so long. I asked Lucas if I he would let me leave. He said no, not yet, but cut-off wasn't till 7 am and I could stay till then. I knew I wouldn't finish if I stayed till 7. My bladder was empty, I wasn't going to pee buckets anytime soon. I had my cry and decided I'd rather DNF at a warm fire than get caught by sweeps on the trail. Lucas supported the idea of a DNF, so Mac told the AS captain that I was done.

But George, the AS captain, saved my race. He came over and asked me why I was quitting. I gave him my sob story. He asked if I wanted to quit. I told him no. He asked a few medical questions (confused? Nauseated? lightheaded?) and then asked me if I thought I was in ok shape to go on. I told him yes. So then he and Lucas talked...and talked. 20 minutes later, Lucas made me sign an AMA form (Against Medical Advice), but at 5:15am, exactly 2 hours and 32 minutes after I arrived, we left ALT headed for the finish!

I was still a wreck, I was moving at a snail's pace, and I had to rest on every uphill to catch my breath, but I was on a mission! The nice thing was that it was daylight, we were with lots of people, and I didn't care one bit about my time, just finishing. It took me 4 hours and 45 minutes to do 15 miles! On Lucas's advice, I did not eat or drink anything that entire time except for a large serving of canned peaches that Rob and John had especially for me at Brown's Bar and oh my god, did they taste good after eating so little for so long!

My sister surprised me at Robie Point. It was awesome to see her, only I was actually embarrassed to have her see me doing so poorly. How poorly? The last 1.3 miles took 26 minutes!! Gaby came down, too. I told my crew if I could still break 29 hours, I just wanted to walk around the track. My sister said, "No, you want to run and show your strong finish." I told her my running was so pathetic, it wouldn't impress anyone and that I'd rather just enjoy the time on the track and the fact that I made it despite everything. So I walked. And I hugged several people, and gave a couple of high fives, and stopped for my mom to take a picture, and honestly, it was awesome. My day was a sh*t sundae, but at least it had a cherry on top.

Only after e-mailing friends after the race did it occur to me that 6 pounds is not greater than 7% of my initial (clothed and shod) weight of 121! In fact, it is less than 5%. And who knows, change of shoes, different scale, full colon - all of those could have affected my weight too. I think with the cool temps and walking, I wasn't sweating much and so I might have been up a couple of pounds, but I don't think I was ever in a dangerous situation. I had a bad race, yeah, ok, I'll get over it, but it is so frustrating to know that I wasted so much time and mental energy for nothing.

Ultra-runners are there for the challenge, to test themselves in extreme conditions and to see how they do when faced with adversity. This year at Western States, I faced my biggest challenges and more adversity than I could even imagine. It wasn't exactly pretty, but I feel like I battled with everything I had on that day. It took me 10 HOURS more than I had hoped to cross the finish line, but in the end, I was still pretty proud to have gotten there. The love and support have been incredible. In some ways, maybe a perfectionist like me needs this kind of stuff. If you feel the most loved on the shittiest day of your life was it really so shitty? I don't think so.

Thank you to my crew who also had to toil an extra 10+ hours, to my family for watching the kids and coming to see me finish, to so many amazing volunteers - people who gave me their personal belongings to help me, to George for fighting for me when I didn't have the wits to do it myself (and for his big hug at the finish), and for all the people who have sent me kind messages-some of them complete strangers. All of this has touched my heart and made me grow and in the end, that is really the best we can hope for in this kind of journey.

McDonald Forest 50k

One of my 2012 New Year's resolutions was to not run any 50k races. So Saturday I headed down to McDonald Forest to run my fourth 50k this year. New Year's resolutions are stupid and are meant to be broken.

I know I should race less and since 50k's are more or less "fun runs" in my book, it's be a good idea to cut back. But there always seems to be a reason that I don't want to miss out on the fun. McDonald Forest is my "home course", the place I do most of my trail training, I didn't run last year because of Miwok, and this year's race was dedicated to a good friend and one the most supportive people when I was getting into this crazy sport, so what the heck? What's one more 50k?

The sun was already bright in the sky when I left my house. As I cruised through the sleepy town of Monmouth, two cop cars passed in the opposite direction. Right after they passed, one flipped on its lights. I wondered what was going on, but then the front car flipped a U-turn and eventually pulled me over.

"Ma'am, I pulled you over for speeding. Do you know how fast you were going?" Right about then the second cop car pulled up, too. Ooh, so this situation was so serious Cop #1 needed back-up! I must have been really bad.

"Umm, about 35." I offered.

"Actually, it was almost 40 mph in a 30mph zone. I had you at 38."

Oh, THANK YOU, officer for correcting me, because 38 is SO much closer to 40 than 35. And really, how the heck can 38 mph be considered speeding?? Your average 90 year old drives faster than that!

He let me off with a warning but not before telling me, "When you are speeding and you get pulled over it really ends up costing you more time than if you had just driven the speed limit in the first place." Are you serious? I don't talk to my 7 year old like that! But I guess it was a small price to pay to get out of a ticket. I was so pissed I drove right past the first entrance to Peevy Arboretum, but still got there with plenty of time to spare.

In my head I was planning to start with Ashley. I don't think we had gone two steps before I took the lead. Oops. But I got to run with Lewis Taylor and Dan Olmstead, who were taking a nice conservative start before busting out 4th and 5th place finishes. I should have followed their lead, but I felt great on the downhill gravel road. I fell back a little on the first big hill but overall had a pretty steady climb up to the top of the first aid station. The first part of the maze went well and I felt really good down the Extendo trail (I felt even better when I passed two U of O boys!). But then the climb up Uproute was miserable. We don't walk that section in training and I think I hiked a switch back or two - not good!

My first race in the La Sportiva jersey. I swear two different people asked me  in regards to my shoes "Are those Montrails?" Hmmm, what am I doing wrong? (They are C-lite 2.0 and they were perfect for this course)

At the top Dennis told me he thought I had a 2-3 minute lead on Ashley. I told him it wasn't near enough the way I was climbing. About mile 15 she chugged right by me on an uphill and I knew I wasn't giving chase. It probably should have been upsetting but it wasn't at all. I just stepped over and said,"Hi, Ashley. Why don't you go on ahead; you're the mountain goat." And then she proved me right and left me in her dust.

I pathetically jogged up to Dimple, sweating like a pig. The normally crass Craig Thornley got all shy when I asked for some Vaseline. "You want me to do it??" he asked. Um, yeah, grease up my sweaty back, Big Boy.   Yeah, I guess I can understand his reluctance but he kindly obliged. Unfortunately, it didn't help my uphill running at all, but it made my back feel better.

Alinna caught me at mile 19 and I was like a proud parent as I have been helping her with her training. I am being paid in cocktails, so I think that makes me more of a lush than a coach, but still it was cool to see her training plan culminate in a great race. I encouraged her to run strong and not give up on catching Ashley. She closed the gap and only finished two minutes back, but Ashley was able to hold her off for the win.

Alinna and I cruising down the trail in sync.

I had a horrible time with the ups and then just flew on the downhills. I know I walked way more than I did last time I did this race, but my leg speed is so much better this time. The combo resulted in a 3rd place finish that was less than 20 seconds slower than 2010. Some of that uphill struggle may be due to lingering fatigue from Worlds, just three weeks prior. I had been feeling really good last week, but I know hill climbing muscles are always the last to recover. (My recovery goes endurance, speed, hills, in that order). But I suspect the complete absence of any serious hills in training for the last 3 months played a part, too.

This was my "Ugh-why did i do that?" face. When I look at this picture, I make that face again, and think "ugh!  why did I make that face?" 

My hubby Mac was out on the course all day, too, only he was sweeping. He is obviously the photogenic one in the family. He has decided that maybe he has found his true calling as an ultra-runner as he thought it was great fun to go at a casual pace with a few companions eating up all the aid station left overs.

Mac cleaning up in the Mac

Tough job!

After the race it took me forever to get home, because I set my cruise control to stay at exactly57 mph going up Hwy 99 with its lame 55 mph speed limit. 57, of course, being much closer to 55 than to 60. But I didn't think I could handle another righteous officer speech. ;)