Friday, August 19, 2011

Awesomeness in a Box

Yesterday I got a box in the mail. Not just any box, but a Big Box of Awesomeness from the USATF.
My immediate thought was to go get a machete and chainsaw to rip into this box, but fortunately, the USATF knows we are all a bunch of dumb jocks that can't open a box properly without instructions. And so travesty was averted as I used scissors with the utmost caution to gain access to the contents.
Inside there were TWENTY new USA emblazoned articles.
The collection included the hallowed "distance singlet" and "distance shorts" worn by all of the US male distance runners at the 2008 Olympics. (The women all seem to choose the bra/halter and bun huggers. I didn't know we could choose multiple options so I only ordered this. I am trying to see if I can get a bra top now, because my boobs need official USA gear, too).
Opening the package was a solemn, awe inspiring moment, where I was filled with pride, both for myself and my country. So I did the only logical thing to commemorate my excitement for the team: I put on every possible combination of clothes and took lots of ridiculous pictures!
Rocking the singlet, warm up pants, and hat
Whoa, those are short shorts! Maybe the new luggage can hide my exposed ass!
Do these pants make me look like a super hero? More importantly, do they make my butt look big?
Wait a second! These pants are defective! Where are the backs! By the end, Mac was getting a little jealous. "Oh next year can you order some of the stuff in a men's medium??" But in the end he found something for him:
His super hero posing still needs a lot of work, though. Sadly, the box did not include the unitard, but that is probably just as well because I don't think I could handle all of the "tard" jokes from my husband! But the kids did get some new pajamas.
OMG - this photo is so cute, it made me think I could never leave them for 12 days. But minutes after this photo was taken, Liam gave himself a bloody nose that dripped all over my new shirt. After that, I was once again comfortable with abandoning my progeny for nearly two weeks. However, Megan and I did figure out a way we could smuggle Liam onto the plane, just in case I change my mind at the last minute.
We leave for the Netherlands two weeks from Monday. (Sorry all you blog stalking would-be-robbers, but my in-laws will be here with the kids). I can't wait to represent the US in all my new gear.


SteveQ said...

Nothing in the photos I wanted to steal anyway - trying to decide if the spartan-decor house is just a reflection of a surgeon's tidiness or if you staged the photos. Kids and no clutter: stranger than ventilated tights!

Olga said...

Is that a new haircut?

Unknown said...

I just laughed out loud for 4 entire minutes! Thanks for blogging again! I can't wait for the race report!

Pam said...

@Steve- Hahahaha, no clutter! That's a good one. And I am assuming "spartan" is a euphemism for "lack of decorating style." And yeah, you are right, there is really nothing in my house worth stealing!

@Olga- yeah, got sick of the boring ponytail, so I cut it off. I am not sure it was the right call - I am still getting used to it.

@April- Thanks. have fun at UTMB!

Aliza Lapierre said...

I think even if it were 100 degrees I would make myself wear the "pants" rather than the "shorts". Just think though how many nano seconds faster you will be because your shorts contain less material to weigh you down!

Good luck girl and I cannot wait to see what the adventure holds for you!