Thursday, February 16, 2012

Motoring Along

Today at the gym I found out I may be eligible for a motorized scooter!

Ironically, about the only time I watch TV is when I am at the gym. And as I was trudging pathetically on the treadmill to warm up, I saw a commercial for medical scooters with these screening questions:

*Do you have limited mobility causing you pain or preventing you from doing your normal activities?

Why, yes, I do! I saw my PT on Tuesday for some Valentine's Day pelvic action (umm, not that kind) and she says my iliopsoas are really tight, limiting my hip mobility and that's what's been causing my pelvic pain. It doesn't keep me from doing my normal activities, but that was an "or" question!

*Do you have difficulty going up and down stairs?

Yes! After just about every race.

*Do you sometimes have difficulty getting to the bathroom?

Sure. I had to stop in the bushes on my last trail run because there was no way I was going to make it to the bathroom!

*Have you fallen down in the last 12 months?

Oh, heck yeah. I fell twice at the Orcas Island 50k alone. I had a pretty nasty spill at Miwok, too, and I am sure there were a few others.

"If you answered yes to one or more of the previous questions you may be eligible for a scooter AT NO COST TO YOU!"

It is disgusting to me that commercials like this are sending the message "If walking is difficult, just stop walking!" How about we tell people to lose weight, exercise more, stretch, get PT...anything to actually help people walk better!

So for me, I will be doing some extra stretches and a few strengthening exercises in the next couple of weeks. But if that doesn't work, I am glad to know I could still be out there doing ultras like this (at no cost to me!):
This grandpa could totally rock the 24 hour paved loop ultras. 


Brett said...

freaking hilarious post, love it

Olga said...

How about overweight people getting steakers with handicap and park next to entrance? Then get into one of those motorized shopping cart and buy a crapload of junk?

SteveQ said...

HAHAHA! I did the same thing about a questionaire on prostate problems: "Do you have the urge to urinate several times a night?" [Not since I bought the rubber sheets.] Well, yes, if I'm running all night.

mtnrunner2 said...

Hilarious. Love how the qualifications line up so well.