The Good Life

Many people will tell you they really just love to run and don’t care that much about racing. Some blogs even seem to make the claim that this is the purest form of running: just running for the act of running itself. But that is not me. Really, I love to race. I love the adrenaline, the excitement, the camaraderie, the competition, the idea of pushing yourself more than you even would alone. Oh, I love to just run, too, but honestly, I am a race junkie.

I have managed to get my habit a bit more under control in the last year, mostly because I have learned that I need the recovery to really be sharp when I race. But from time to time, I still fall off the wagon, which is really the only way to explain a road 100k, a high altitude 50k, and a ‘fast’ (in my terms) half marathon over the span of four weeks. So many races, so many goals, and a serious under supply of patience!

And so the family headed up to Victoria for The Good Life Marathon and Half Marathon on October 9^th. It was the Good Life for Mac and I, as a pair of running parents, because the start of the half and the full (which Mac ran) were staggered by an hour and fifteen minutes, with the half starting first. The wife of Mac’s running partner agreed to watch our kiddos for the brief race overlap that we would have, which turned out to be the Good Life for my kids because Lisa treated them to ice cream for breakfast. So a win-win for everybody, except maybe Lisa, who had to watch my kids and is out ten bucks. (thanks again, Lisa!).

Lisa not only is a great babysitter, but a great photographer. I stole most of these pics from her.

I had only one goal for this race: break 1:26, which is the elite standard for the California International Marathon in December. There are usually several women who break 1:20 at Victoria each year, so I knew this was just me versus the clock.

At 7:30 the herd started to stampede. I started three or four rows back and my Garmin said 5:50 pace for the first quarter mile and I was practically being trampled! I guess I have forgotten how these big road races start. My goal pace was 6:30, so I got to the side and slowed up to be closer to pace and I couldn’t believe how many people were flying by me. I am not exaggerating to say at least 300 people passed me in the first mile, including so many women that I knew it was pointless to even try to guess what place I was in. Just me and the clock!

I hit 5k at right at 20 minutes, and 10k at 40:02. There was one “big” hill (meaning not big at all, but enough to complain about) that slowed mile 10 down to a 6:45, but otherwise, all my miles stayed under 6:30. It started to feel hard right around the 1 hour mark (which coincided with the big hill), but I also knew I only had 25-26 minutes to go.

Victoria has 100 meter count down signs for the last kilometer. I got to the 400 to go mark with 90 seconds to break 1:25 and mentally, I was like “Yeah, I can’t do that right now and I don’t really need to anyway.” So yeah, a failure for not even trying to go for it, but my finish of 1:25:06 was still a big PR and good enough to get in to the elite field. Or at least it should have been. Apparently the elite field at CIM is “impacted” (The elite coordinator’s word, not mine! As a physician, I really can’t use that word in everyday conversation!) and they can’t let me in. Bummer.

Running SO fast, everything else is a blur!

After the race Mac asked me if it was hard and I wasn’t sure how to answer. Mentally, it was easy. I have races where I hurt for 25 miles, so to hurt for 25 minutes was nothing. And the distance to the finish always felt really short. But at the same time, I really don’t feel like my legs could have gone any faster on that day and to maintain the exact pace when I got tired was a challenge.

What I do know is that I had a blast! What a fun distance to race! Though I have completed 30 ultras and 7 marathons, I had only raced two half marathons prior to this. But I see myself doing more in the future. It is long enough to still be an “everybody gets a medal” kind of race (and feel like you did a good day of running) but short enough that I felt really good after the race. In fact, I would say I felt better after the race than before it. Plus, Victoria is a great city. I hate to dis on Oregon, but I’d recommend Victoria over the Portland Marathon (same day) for all the PacNWer’s out there looking for a fall marathon.

After the race, Megan asked me what I won (my daughter seems to think life is all about prizes, despite our efforts to emphasize fun). Nothing, I told her, I was fourth in my age group. Well, why don't you just go ask, she tells me. Optimism pays off - top 5 got glass plaques! (pic by Megan; I got busted by groundskeeping for standing in the rose garden)

My hubby was a bit under trained going in to this one, due to a foot injury, but he finished with a solid 3:50... certainly not his best but not his worst either. His foot never bothered him during the run, but the lack of training caught up to him (maybe more after the race than during even; he was not walking too pretty afterwards!). But we both had a great weekend. Spotting orcas on the ferry ride home was icing on the cake.

The "Salty Brothas" after the marathon! (That would be brothas from anotha motha, of course!)



Prerace activities included a trip to the bug zoo

Beautiful Victoria (pics by Lisa)

Flagline 50k

Last year the Flagline 50k was created outside of Bend, OR to be the USATF 50k National Championship. I was fairly excited for this race, not so much because it was a national championship, but because I thought it'd be a fun course at the foot of Mt. Bachelor. But then I went into a funk after Western States last year and finally just decided I needed a month off to regroup. So no Flagline 50k for me.

This year the race was only two weeks after the 100k World Championships, and so I figured I'd be sitting this one out, too. But I wanted to get out there and had put it on my schedule weeks in advance, planning to volunteer. But after Worlds, I found myself perusing the website and the course map...Maybe I was longing to get back to trails after a summer of road training for worlds, or maybe I panicked that my ultra-running was done for the year (I am concentrating on a sub-3 hour marathon at CIM for the next two months), or maybe I worried this would be the last good weekend before the beginning of the endless Oregon winter, but something in me really wanted to run it. When I signed up, I was still sore from Worlds and I hadn't run a step. I knew I wouldn't be at my best, but I didn't care, I was really just looking for a fun day on some great trails.

I headed out to Bend after work Friday and caught up with William Emerson at race check in, and I got to hear some of this guy's crazy adventures which include hiking all of the PCT, the AT and much of the Continental Divide trail. Then it was off to my very fine $42/night hotel. Nothing says class like wood paneling and pastel floral bedspreads!

Race morning was cool, but not cool enough to be optimistic about the afternoon temps...it looked like we were going to be in for a hot one in the high alpine air (low point on course: 5,800'). The first 8 miles had a gradual downhill and I was running so well. I felt quick and light and unbelievable given the circumstances. I was only a minute or two behind the two front runners at the first aid station. One of the women was Stephanie Howe, who was second at Flagline last year in her only other ultra. I knew she was fast (and a top notch nordic skier), but maybe inexperienced. And the second woman was running her first ultra. So for a brief bit I had stars in my eyes, thinking maybe these two would go out too fast, not fuel right, etc. and burn out in the end.

Right in the mix

But very quickly reality smacked me in the face...well, in the quads really...as the trail then began one of the major ascents. Now who put 20 pound sandbags on my back?? My legs had NO power, there was just nothing there. Normally, I am better at uphill rather than downhill, especially the gradual runnable grade stuff, which was pretty much everything at Flagline. I tried to keep myself running even though my quads were burning, but it was such a slow jog, I got passed by four guys on that first big climb. I like to do the passing on the uphills!! It is usually the downhills where people pass me. By mile 10, it was really obvious that I would NOT be in it to win this one. But in some ways that made the race more fun as I can get into a bit of tunnel vision when I am racing, and on this day I was able to avoid that so that I could look around, enjoy the trails, even joke with most of the volunteers.

Hey, maybe if I eat more, I'll run faster!

My legs were worthless on the uphills, but they were turning over great on all the downhills and I even got four guys back (though, not all the same ones). I figured if I could keep the turnover on the downs, I could maintain third place. The second big climb was particularly ugly for me and I walked WAY too much of it, but that is what I had on that day. About a mile from the top I came upon two bow hunters completely decked out in camouflage, including full face paint! As I passed I commented,"I am glad I am wearing hot pink today." One of the bow hunters just leaned in close in front of my face and with big eyes said,"Boo-ga, Boo-ga, Boo-ga!" That put a little extra spring in my step to the top of the hill as I just kept thinking,"Don't shoot me in the back...do not shoot me in the back."

The last seven miles rolled to the finish and it was a major roller coaster for me: "I am flying...I am dying...I am flying," just depending on the slant of the trail. The last little uphill grind on the road was a killer especially as you had a good view on the straight road of runners WAY up ahead and you felt the full heat of the 80 degree day.

I kept my third place and scored a $200 check. After race entry, hotel, gas and dinner, I figured I netted about $26. Who says you can't make money in ultra-running? ;) But truly, I got a lot more out of the day than that - a beautiful day on the trails, enjoying the scenery and the post race taco-salad in the sun, and hanging out with lots of great people. It was a nice reminder that not every day has to be your best race to be a great run.

Stephanie Howe pulled ahead of Natalie Bak in the final mile to take the women's win, while Max King once again had the Midas touch on the men's side, outpacing Natalie Bak's other half, Ryan Bak.
 Results here.

100k World Championships

I am up in Canada getting ready to run my second race since worlds, so I guess it is about time I write something aboot Worlds, eh? (I am practicing my Canadian).

I have been completely unmotivated to blog about Worlds. A lot of it has to do with the pace of life: kids back to school, me back to work and training, and my garden in the season of full bounty. Two weeks in the Netherlands put me way behind in harvesting and canning so I have been spending a lot of my free time putting up tomatoes, soup, sauce, pears and juicing watermelons (for popsicles, and my personal favorite...margaritas). But some of my reluctance comes from difficulty in presenting the two sides of this event. This was an overwhelmingly positive experience and I can not put into words how amazing it was to be part of the US team competing in a race with support and spectators that made it feel more like the Boston marathon than an ultra.

On Your Mark...

Team USA women stride past a windmill

Spectators out for a party with yard decorations.

Awesome street decorations. The flag of every participating nation was on the right and race photos with "Welcome" in every language on the left.

Lots of kids handing out sponges. I must have taken a hundred of these in the last 50k.

But my race was tainted with disappointment. I went to Winschoten with three great 100k's under my belt this year: A second place at Bandera 50 minutes faster that 2010; a solid 7:53 at Mad City; and then a win at Miwok. My training after Western States was strong and I felt like 7:45 was well within my capacity. But at the end of the day, I only had a 8:16 to show for my efforts.

The days leading up to the race were very low key as there was little to do in the athletes village. I went on a couple of easy runs, including a preview of the course, and made sure I got plenty of rest. We had a couple of team meetings.

Friday, I got all of my bottles set up. Even at Mad City, I ran with a hand held and some food so I could make fueling decisions on the fly. Basically, I run with only very loose guidelines for fueling: aim for a bottle an hour and at least 200 calories, but I pretty much eat what and when I feel like it. Having to come up with a more concrete plan and then set it all up ahead of time was very new to me and something I should have put a bit more thought into.

Race day was overcast, and I asked the team manager Lin if she thought it'd be a good idea to start with sleeves. "Ugg, no," she replied, "it is so muggy, you'll sweat just walking to the starting line!" Humidity was over 70% for race day and when the clouds burned off after the first couple of laps the course was entirely sun exposed with temps in the high 70's.

One of the highlights of the race was running with Annette. I caught her in the second lap and ran about two laps with her. The running was so smooth an easy and we were chatting up a storm and talking a lot about our spouses like love struck teenagers. The course was also amazing. Well not the route, per se, but the elaborate decorations, the crowds, the windmills, and all the families with their own aid stations and sponge buckets. And I loved that we had our names on our bibs. Partly, it was cool too have the fans yelling our names (as Annette said to me, "you are lucky to have an easy name because everybody wants to cheer for you."). But also it was amazing to run by people and see such a mix of names: Yuko, Sabine, Oxana, Bjorn, Kostyantyn, Jose, Alexi...it really cemented the international vibe of this event for me.

Running with Annette

Running with the Polish team (me-back center). We weren't supposed to run with the men but I was with these guys for about 3/4 of a lap because I couldn't get around them. They finally sped up and dropped me.

The Aid Station row. Our booth said had signs for "AND" and "USA." My first lap I came through and though "And USA what??" Then I remembered we were sharing a table with Andorra!!

As for the race itself, well, run one 10k loop and then repeat ad nauseam. Unfortunately, for me the added nausea started just after 35k. Even during the race I remember thinking,"OMG, I haven't even run a marathon yet!" But general nausea morphed into stabbing, painful side cramps that had me barely shuffling for three laps. During those three laps, I chugged some water with two salt tabs and then didn't eat for 30k. My stomach eventually settled down, I switched to Coke and pretzels and had a decent finishing 30k where I passed nearly 20 women to finish up 16th overall. My splits pretty much tell the whole story:

45:25, 45:50, 45:50, 46:26, 55:27, 54:40, 55:11, 49:21, 50:33, 48:08

To me the biggest disappointment was not so much the bad race, but the sense I have that I was the cause of my own problems... basically, that I messed up. I think I am usually good at strategizing and fueling. I know my typical fueling seems "loosey goosey" but I am good at assessing what I need at a certain moment and taking care of it. In this race, I had everything laid out ahead of time and for some reason, I treated it like it was set in stone. I hadn't planned for that much heat and humidity and I didn't adjust soon enough. Additionally, I didn't think out the timing very well. Normally, I would aim to eat every 30(+) minutes, but I was coming through the aid stations 21-22 minutes apart, so I not only under-consumed salt and fluid but I over consumed calories.

Another thing that is hard to swallow is that I didn't score for the team. I had the third fastest qualifier on the team and it really feels like I didn't come through for them. Plus, being a non-scorer is like I didn't even count. It's kind of like being the back up goalie in World Cup soccer (only the back up goalie gets no playing time and I got MORE "playing time" than my scoring teammates - ha!). The write-ups are hard to read because they really make me feel like I didn't do anything worthy out there. My consolation is that my time could replace ANY of our three scorers and we still would have gotten the silver medal, a testament to the strength of our team. And I do feel like I helped Annette, not only by keeping her company, but also by pulling back on the pace several times to make sure we stayed at a sensible clip.

I am trying to keep this in perspective, as I know there is still a lot of positive here. When the going got tough, I definitely kept my wits and will together and rallied at the end. The women's field saw massive carnage as many others succumbed to the heat and humidity as well, with only 42% of the women finishing the race. One hundred and seventeen of the world's top women came together to run and at the end of the day, I was 16th. Sixteenth in the world and a team silver medal can't be so bad! Hey, Max King finished 16th at his first World Mountain Running Championships, so I am in good company!

As I stated in the beginning this was an overwhelmingly positive experience, something that I am so honored I got to be a part of and I don't want to get too caught up in the negative. But I made some mistakes and didn't have the race I wanted. But live and learn. I think I am much better prepared now that I know what to expect and I am hungry to prove what I can do in Italy next April.

Hello From Holland!

I met the Monday morning tracksters for one last run (a very abbreviated workout for me) before leaving. Because it was Labor Day we met at 7 instead of our usual 5am, which actually feels like sleeping in these days, but it meant I had to scramble to get ready to leave.

We dropped the kids off with Mamaw (Mac’s mom – huge thanks in order). The kids seemed to take our departure fairly well. In fact, Liam was sad he didn’t get to stay with Mac’s mom when she arrived on Sunday, for as he explained to me, “Mamaw is better because she lets us eat junk food and she takes us to Chuck E. Cheese’s.” Megan was more interested in Sesame Street than me as she said goodbye. But at least they aren’t traumatized by our departure!

The USATF advised us not to wear team gear while traveling so as not to draw attention to ourselves as Americans. So I wore a pair of jeans and a plain shirt as I carried my USA backpack and toted my USA suitcase through the airport and train stations. Subtle, real subtle. But we somehow managed to avoid terrorist attack.

Actually, when we got into the airport, I was struck by how globalized everything has become. The Russian girl next to us in the train line had on Converse shoes, an O’Neill backpack and was playing on her iPhone. The athletic gear is all the same brands popular in the States. And the food court was serving up Burger King and franchise coffee. I might have been okay with it had it been Dutch Brothers, but it was kind of disappointing that the first thing I saw after passing through customs was a Starbucks!

After the all night flight, it was about another four hours to Winschoten by train. We had information that we could get a shuttle to the athlete’s village, but the train station was a ghost town and the station itself was completely closed down! It did not help our mission that there is not a single public phone in the entire town! And the townies were pretty clueless that there was an international race taking place that weekend. We kind of kicked ourselves for relying on the USATF plans of “there will probably be a shuttle.”

 

Winschoten Ghost Town, er, Train Station

Mac (who hasn’t always kept his cool in confusing situations) was totally calm and suggested we head to the library.

“Well, that’s a really good idea, but I am sure the library is closed on Sundays,” I told him.

“Yeah, but it’s Tuesday.” Right. That is why I hated my surgery and OB rotations so much – my brain does not function without sleep!

 The banner signals we've come to the right place!

After what felt like a video game quest in cold windy weather (go to town information, go to the library, go back to information, go back to the train station, go to town to find a phone, pay a hotel clerk to use the phone, go back to train station to wait), we got in touch with the athlete’s village and 20 minutes later Hedda was driving us to a very nice athletic facility with little apartments for our quarters. This place is way outside of town and we don’t have a car. We seem to be one of the first to arrive so the compound ispretty dead. We’ve just been wandering around with wide eyed stares from the isolation, lack of sleep, and mild culture shock. Two teenage girls showed up at our door with two bags of food, so at least we aren’t starving.

Map of Winschoten - It felt like we every number on the map!

The rest of Team USA arrives tomorrow and we have our first team meeting, so hopefully, we have a better sense of what is going on after that! We are also keeping our fingers crossed that the weather gets better. The wind and the rain we've had so far may negate the pancake flat terrain for fast times times this weekend. Despite the confusion, we've had lots of laughs being idiot US tourists!

Awesomeness in a Box

Yesterday I got a box in the mail. Not just any box, but a Big Box of Awesomeness from the USATF.

My immediate thought was to go get a machete and chainsaw to rip into this box, but fortunately, the USATF knows we are all a bunch of dumb jocks that can't open a box properly without instructions. And so travesty was averted as I used scissors with the utmost caution to gain access to the contents.

Inside there were TWENTY new USA emblazoned articles.
The collection included the hallowed "distance singlet" and "distance shorts" worn by all of the US male distance runners at the 2008 Olympics. (The women all seem to choose the bra/halter and bun huggers. I didn't know we could choose multiple options so I only ordered this. I am trying to see if I can get a bra top now, because my boobs need official USA gear, too).
Opening the package was a solemn, awe inspiring moment, where I was filled with pride, both for myself and my country. So I did the only logical thing to commemorate my excitement for the team: I put on every possible combination of clothes and took lots of ridiculous pictures!

Rocking the singlet, warm up pants, and hat

Whoa, those are short shorts! Maybe the new luggage can hide my exposed ass!

Do these pants make me look like a super hero? More importantly, do they make my butt look big?
Wait a second! These pants are defective! Where are the backs! By the end, Mac was getting a little jealous. "Oh next year can you order some of the stuff in a men's medium??" But in the end he found something for him:

His super hero posing still needs a lot of work, though. Sadly, the box did not include the unitard, but that is probably just as well because I don't think I could handle all of the "tard" jokes from my husband! But the kids did get some new pajamas.

OMG - this photo is so cute, it made me think I could never leave them for 12 days. But minutes after this photo was taken, Liam gave himself a bloody nose that dripped all over my new shirt. After that, I was once again comfortable with abandoning my progeny for nearly two weeks. However, Megan and I did figure out a way we could smuggle Liam onto the plane, just in case I change my mind at the last minute.

We leave for the Netherlands two weeks from Monday. (Sorry all you blog stalking would-be-robbers, but my in-laws will be here with the kids). I can't wait to represent the US in all my new gear.

Forms

I have been a crummy blogger as of late - just too much going on to sit down and write about it!

This weekend the Fam was off to Timothy Lake for the PCT50 miler. I had a brief moment last month where I thought I'd race, but then I came to my senses and remembered I just need to focus on training for Worlds. So I signed up to volunteer instead. I got the "cush" AS at the 14 mile turnaround, meaning we got to close up after the last runner came through, whereas the other AS's had to do double duty and wait for the runners to come through a second time. It gave me enough time to run 20 miles back to the start (I took a "long" cut). I even beat the speedy Ian Sharman back to the finish by a couple of minutes and so was there to see him smash the CR!

The rest of the day was spent watching the kids make "potions" by the lake and chilling by the campfire. I swear by Sunday, we were the dirtiest family in Oregon and I even took a "bath" in Timothy Lake after my run! (I usually try to avoid cold water, but this was a necessity!)

These magic potions turn clean kids into dirty ones!

After three loads of laundry and some showers, the "To Do" list for tonight included filling out the USATF forms. First up: the three page medical check list. This check list was insane! The questions were things like: "Have you ever felt light headed after a run?" "Have you ever felt like you were more tired than your teammates during a workout?" "Have you ever had chest tightness after a workout?" "Have you ever had an EKG?" "Do you currently receive massage therapy?" and my personal favorite: "Have you ever had an injury to a bone, muscle, ligament or tendon that caused you to miss a practice or a competition?"

SERIOUSLY? Are you kidding me!! This seems more like a lie detector test than an actual medical inquiry, for who in truth could really answer "NO" to these kinds of questions?? You are not a runner if you haven't missed one practice due to injury! Then they give you a measly three lines to "explain" your YES answers. So I pretty much just answered NO to everything except the things that I thought were actually relevant (namely, asthma). If this was some sort of lie detector test/character evaluation, I just failed!

On to the next form: The Uniform Sizing Form. One would think this would be pretty straight forward, right? I mean, pick a size and move on. But no, you actually have to pick your uniform. So do I want an Airborne Top, a Cap Sleeve Halter Top, or a Distance/Throwers singlet? Thank you USATF for throwing me a bone and putting the word "distance" in one of the choices, because I don't even know what an Airborne Top is! Next, Did you know there was a difference between sprinter briefs and distance briefs? Kind of a moot point since I will NOT be choosing briefs of ANY kind! But then there are still three different types of shorts. Actually, I am thinking of choosing the "sleeveless unitard" and just calling it good. ;)

Deja Vu at Western States

Western States 2010: Though my first WS, I thought I could get 8th, but struggled mightily the last 20 miles. I ran up to Robie in 10th place with 11th closing fast. I ran my last mile in total paranoia, checking my back about every three seconds. I managed to hold off 11th place by just four minutes! I ended up F10 and third in the Montrail Cup.

Western States 2011: The field was stacked but I was in much better shape this year, so again, I was thinking I could get 8th. But I had a few low patches early, rallied in the middle and then struggled mightily the last 20 miles. I ran up to Robie in 10th place with 11th closing fast. I ran my last mile in total paranoia, checking my back about every three seconds. I managed to hold off 11th place, by, yep, 4 minutes! I ended up F10 and third in the Montrail Cup.

The biggest difference was that I was 56 minutes faster than last year, just to end up in the same place! And of course, there were many differences in the details of the day, but still there were so many similarities between this year and last that there was definitely a sense of deja vu when it was all said and done.
******
Last year I ran 21:36, but my goal going into WS this year was sub-20, which I not only thought would be totally doable but also necessary for a Top 10 given the depth of the field. My last 20 miles last year were terrible, and I knew I could gain a lot of time there. I ran 9:24 from Foresthill to the river when the average for the top 15 women was around 8:30. So I was figuring I could improve almost an hour just over the last 38 miles alone and then hopefully pick up another 36 minutes or so in the first 62 miles.

The day started well with the climb up to Escarpment. I was in a huge group in the middle of the pack and feeling good. After summiting, the snow got crazy! The "trail" traversed large icy fields with very little grip; there were slushy areas with very unstable footing; and there were places with large sun cups, making for very uneven footing. I was slow through here as I have very little experience running in the snow, but despite my lack of speed, I actually thought the snow section was quite fun. It was beautiful and it was something I don't usually get to do. The only downside to this was the trail markings. To be sure there were ample flags, but marking dirty, yellowish snow with yellow ribbons was not such a good idea! Fortunately, I was with four or five guys and we worked together to spot flags and stay on course.

Right before the second aid station at mile 15, my shoe came untied and I decided to stop for a dual pit stop/shoe tie. Don't try to do these two things at the same time, as it landed me on my butt in the snowy pine needles! I had dutifully left one of my bottles on the trail to mark where I left the course and as I came into the AS to get my bottles filled, I realized I was only carrying one. Doh! Fortunately, only a couple hundred meters of backtracking to get the necessary equipment, but it was a bit odd running against traffic and getting lots of funny looks for swimming upstream!

Last year I ran down the road to the Poppy Trailhead harder than I think I should have, so this year I just ran smooth and easy. I was 13th female, but I wasn't having any problems. It was a little discouraging, though, to come into Duncan Canyon at mile 23.8 only to be told I was already 30 minutes behind the women's leader!

Right after Duncan Canyon my energy really started to lag. I think it was the altitude that was getting to me. Climbing just seemed to wear me out and I felt really flat. At Mosquito Ridge, I was 9 minutes behind my projected split and the lead women were coming through Miller's Defeat, 3.4 miles ahead of me. I felt sluggish on the dirt road and came into Miller's Defeat feeling a little sick. My legs felt better over the next section, but my stomach got worse. I was surprised to catch up with Lewis Taylor who was also struggling with stomach issues and we commiserated a bit.

After last chance, a volunteer pointed us on to "the best five miles of the Western States Trail" but the beauty didn't perk me up. I tried to puke, but couldn't - I am just not a puker - and yet my stomach felt like I was going to let fly with every step. It got so bad, that at one point I was trying to figure how slow I could go and still get a sub-24 finish! Despite the negative attitude, I had my wits about me and realized that I was really deficient with my salt intake. Three S-caps later, things turned quickly for the better and I was running with new life.

Deadwood Canyon went well for me and I came into Devil's Thumb in good spirits. I shook hands and introduced myself to the Devil (Scott Dunlap) and joked about running into Hell. I walked a little too much on the way out enjoying my rainbow popsicle. Unfortunately, this year's popsicle stick joke was way worse than last year's ("What did A and B love about the beach? C-gulls. LAME!). But I felt great on the way down to El Dorado and knew it was a huge improvement over last year, when knee pain kept me from running well downhill.

But the uphill out of El Dorado didn't feel right. I was breathing too hard and I couldn't run anything. Not much of the climb is runnable (for me) but I remember running small little bursts last year and I couldn't seem to manage that this year. My breath just kept getting caught in my chest and I was choking up with deep inhalation. Unfortunately, all my asthma meds were in Foresthill. But the wonderful volunteers and awesome medical staff were there for me at Michigan Bluff and they quickly located an inhaler and got me going.

On the way to Bath Road I maybe should have run a tad more of the uphill, but overall I was feeling much better. Mac met me at Bath road and had lots of updates on the men's and women's leaders as well as the few women just ahead of me. I had a great time in Foresthill and really focused on enjoying the moment. I often get tunnel vision when I am racing and ignore what is going on around me at an aid station. In fact, so many people have told me I look "very focused" when I run that I now cringe when I hear that. I know that is just a polite way of saying I need to pull my head out and have a little more fun! So I was waving at the crowds and even giving high fives. I was still 13th woman, but hearing all the cheering made me feel like I rock star and I really absorbed all the energy. I felt good, but at 11:45, I knew sub-20 was going to require the last 38 miles to be good ones.

The rock star energy seemed to be working, plus I had picked up my pacer, a rock star in her own right, Denise Bourassa fresh off her 4th place finish at SD100 in her first attempt at the distance. My quads were golden and we cruised! We passed Helen Cospolich pretty soon after leaving Foresthill. Unfortunately, I also passed Craig Thornley in this section and I was sad to see the day wasn't going his way. I ran well down to the river and my asthma seemed to be in control. My biggest issue was forcing myself to eat. Nothing sounded good but Denise stayed on me and I knew I needed to get anything I could down. I hiked to Green Gate taking little mouse bites out of a quarter quesadilla and drinking an orange soda.

I was hoping to make it to ALT before needing my light but I was about three miles short. The onset of the dark also coincided with the onset of my massive downhill slide. My asthma was back and I was breathing hard but pushing with what I could. However, at ALT I found out Becky Wheeler (11th place) was 28 minutes ahead of me (12th) with 15 miles to go and I knew I was in no shape to catch her.

I did have the good fortune to meet David Larson from Newport, OR right after ALT and found that he set the perfect pace and we ran much of the way to Brown's Bar together, albeit quite slowly. My quads still felt really good given what they had been through, but I just wasn't getting enough air to let them run. Downhills went well for me, but even the slightest uphill got me panting like an overheated dog. We did pass Anita Ortiz on the way to Brown's Bar and she did not look well at all. But passing her meant nothing to me, as I was still 11th (so I thought) and I had no chance of catching Becky in my state.

The section to Highway 49 crossing was really hard for me, easily my worst section for the day, particularly because the uphill was torture for me. I was breathing so hard that I was freaking Denise (a nurse) out. She even called ahead to the AS to tell Mac to have my inhaler ready. But really I wasn't concerned. I knew I was going to beat last year's time. Plus, I was resigned and at peace with being 11th place, so I knew I could just relax and enjoy the last seven miles with Mac as best as possible.

That all changed when I got to the Aid Station.

"Joelle dropped. You're in tenth place." Mac reported to me.

My response was actually, "Oh crap, now I have to race!"

I thought my major issue was asthma, but the nurse got all concerned that I hadn't peed in three and a half hours (even though my weight was perfect), so in addition to getting meds and food, I had to go squeeze out a few drops of urine to make her happy before I left.

Down to No-Hands was pretty uneventful, except I knew I was slow. And then there is that mild climb after the bridge before the real grunt up to Robie. That is where Angela Shartel passed me last year because I really couldn't run it. Well, I was in no shape to run it this year either, but Mac had his phone on him and when he got the update that Helen was gaining on me and only nine minutes behind at Hwy 49, he became Miwok Slave Driver Mac again! He tells me we are going to do intervals: one minute run, 30 seconds walk, but I couldn't stick to the schedule. It shouldn't be so hard to run for a minute, but there it was, I couldn't do it. And then when I couldn't make 30 seconds of running, Mac starts explaining the math to me: "Helen gained a minute a mile on you over the last section. A nine minute lead with seven miles to go is too close." And then I tried to run again and that is when I lost it.

"Mac, I can't do this schedule. You have to back off! I know I have to run but I can't and you are not helping!" I know that was the fatigue and exasperation talking but still I feel bad about that because I think Mac was a bit stung and he became pretty quiet after that. "I just didn't want you to lose F10 on my watch," he told me, and I appreciate that, even if I didn't at the time.

Coming up to Robie we had lights behind us. "Oh, F*CK!"

"Do you want me to go see who it is?" Mac asks.

"Yes, might as well. There is nothing I can do about it now."

Mac drops back and soon I catch snippets of friendly chat, so I know I am safe for the moment. But my paranoia escalates at Robie Point and I am just certain Helen is coming. Mac finally tells me not to look back any more, my job is just to concentrate on going forward. And there is nothing I want to run, but I do, as hard as I can which was ridiculously slow, but still faster than walking. And oddly, the white bridge seemed to come sooner than I expected and at that point I was pretty sure I'd be ok, because I could run downhill so much better than uphill.

And I just ran, and panted, but I remembered to wave at the people on the street and even smile. And then I was on the track, but I still didn't feel safe, and I was running. The pace felt so fast to me, but it was pathetically slow, and still it was enough to make me feel sick and I was seeing stars and I remember thinking, "OMG, it'll be so embarrassing if I pass out here and I can't make it to the finish." But with only five meters left I knew I would make it and that I could slow down. I practically walked across the finish and still I had my hands on my knees immediately. The video is hard for me to watch I look so bad (and if you listen you can hear me begging for an inhaler), but it also embodies my struggle and the toll of 100 miles.

The announcer quoted Ralph Waldo Emerson right after telling the crowd that I was F10 for the second year in a row: "Foolish consistency is the hobgoblin of little minds, adored by little statesmen, philosophers and divines. With consistency a great soul has simply nothing to do." But he was wrong, even with my struggles I was 56 minutes faster than last year. Neither was my day consistent nor the pursuit foolish. And I assure you, my soul (and every other part of me) worked hard for this one! However, I missed my goal by a long shot and I know I didn't really deserve my F10 based on the day I had as I didn't really out run any body to move up, I just benefitted from two people having even worse days than I had. But such is the nature of 100 milers, sometimes just hanging in there and moving forward is enough to get by.

So F10 once again. I was disappointed in my day, but not discouraged. In some ways it gave me confidence: I know I have a sub-20 in me and maybe even a 19:30. And I have my spot for 2012 to give it another shot!