Last night I had my first of many mini-panic attacks, "OMG WTF was I thinking?!? 62 miles is a really f'ing long way to run! Why the eff would I fly to Texas to run 100k? I am not in shape for this!!" (I drop too many F-bombs when I get stressed).
My husband is always very nurturing and supportive in times like these. His response: "Do you know that you are a total frickin' nut job?! You do this EVERY single time!"
He's right, I do. I have ten ultras under my belt now...that almost seems like I am approaching "veteran" status in this sport. So why do these races make me panic like a rookie? I don't even have anything on the line - I already have my spot for Western States!
I think a lot of it has to do with tapering. I like to train and I love to race, but these few days in between seem like there is no purpose or plan. I think I take all of the extra energy and turn it in to stress and panic.
To bolster my confidence, I reread this article that I just came across last week, even though it is almost a month old. I like the description of how I "ran away" with the race, but it didn't really calm me down. Maybe it is time to break out the Valium!
Ok, time to finish packing. With weather predictions for 15 degrees at the start, I keep throwing a few more articles of clothing into my bag every time I walk by!
Yippee-ki-yay...off to Texas!